This post is a little different, and as I write, I'm not quite sure where I'm going, but I felt the need to "go there"...wherever "that" is. I'm directing this at parents or friends of parents in particular so PLEASE-give me feedback-any kind!
Franklin P. Jones said, "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
So I'm talking about patience right? WRONG! Just kidding. HALF RIGHT! Patience with children to be specific. This also is going in the direction of correct discipline. It's something I'm really learning about this semester. Ok before you jump to conclusions---remember, I'm NOT a professional and I'm not trying to be. I'm also obviously NOT a parent yet, but the things i"m learning, are truly helping me prepare for a future as a mother. A blog is simply for opinion right? I could care less if you disagree with me-thats fine. Just read this anyway and leave it at that, unless you have a brilliant comment of course :) WARNING: Spelling corrections don't count as comments. I always spell at least one or two words wrong-I'm a preschool teacher, not an English teacher. Here's some things i've learned:
*Yelling at children is definently not ok. So why do we do it? Well obviously, children want attention and do things to make us lose our temper. So what I'm saying is, blame the children for our lack of patience. Again, I'm kidding. Believe me, when I'm with my preschoolers, its easy to want to say "SHUT UP YOU KIDS" or "YOU'RE MAKING ME REALLY ANGRY AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN BIG TROUBLE IF YOU DON'T STOP THROWING THAT FIT!" or.... "I SWEAR, IF YOU THROW THAT ONE MORE TIME, I'M GONNA----" What? What are you really going to do? When you're in a classroom setting, you can't "DO" anything except have a little chat with the child. But this doesn't just go for children in a classroom. What about your very own children? Not to give anyone here a guilt trip, but DO YOU yell at them? It's all about the use of your words. Try these for example:
-"(Child's name), I would really appreciate it, if you kept the blocks on the floor or safely in your hands. It keeps the others around you safe."
-"(Child's name), would you be a big helper to mommy and help me pick up all these books? We can even sing a song about books while we do it!"
-(for older children who don't want to do their homework)"(child's name), tell me about your homework assignment. I'd really like to know what it is you're learning about and then maybe I can help you with it!"
Yelling CAN be abuse. I hate to go back to that topic, but sometimes if an adult gets to the point of yelling at a child, it leads to things you may regret saying and verbal abuse that the child probably doesn't deserve. "If you're going to be angry, be angry at what they did/are doing, not who they are."(http://www.kidspeace.org/uploadedFiles/24_ways_parent_008_0011_flier%5B1%5D.pdf)
*Explain to children what you expect of them, before punishing them. For instance, the first time your 3-year-old uses crayons to decorate the living room wall, DISCUSS why that's not allowed and what will happen if your child does it again (for instance, your child will have to help clean the wall and will not be able to use the crayons for the rest of the day). If the wall gets decorated again a few days later, issue a reminder that crayons are for paper only and then enforce the consequences. (http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/discipline.html#)
*Time Out. Ok. Here's my deal on time out. I completely feel that putting a child in "time out" is un-useful and doesn't make them act better suddenly. Don't get me wrong, NOT putting them in time out, doesn't mean they will be angels then either. But there are different ways to handle misbehavior. Simply talking to a child. Use words like, "I see that you're hitting your brother. And I also see that you're upset at him about something. What can we do to fix this situation? Use your words to tell me what is happening." Help the child solve the problem his/her self. It's honestly all in the words and questions you use.
These are just a few ideas. Again, I'm not a professional but I have been learning a lot. Take these into consideration as you become a parent, are a parent, or are an educator.
More to come later....until then, here's another quote just for fun!
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
As a parent, it is always useful for me to remember that I am in charge of my own feelings. No one can "make" me feel anything. My feelings are my choice, and so is my behavior. Although there have been days when I wished I could shift the responsibility to someone else, the truth is that I am fully accountable for my own thoughts, feelings, words and actions.
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