Firm, yet strong with words

Ok, so my last post was on the rather "strong" side of things-I hope still that you read it. Or at least tried to read it. I sure would still appreciate comments on it or this current post. Please and thank you!
This post is a little different, and as I write, I'm not quite sure where I'm going, but I felt the need to "go there"...wherever "that" is. I'm directing this at parents or friends of parents in particular so PLEASE-give me feedback-any kind!

Franklin P. Jones said, "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."

So I'm talking about patience right? WRONG! Just kidding. HALF RIGHT! Patience with children to be specific. This also is going in the direction of correct discipline. It's something I'm really learning about this semester. Ok before you jump to conclusions---remember, I'm NOT a professional and I'm not trying to be. I'm also obviously NOT a parent yet, but the things i"m learning, are truly helping me prepare for a future as a mother. A blog is simply for opinion right? I could care less if you disagree with me-thats fine. Just read this anyway and leave it at that, unless you have a brilliant comment of course :) WARNING: Spelling corrections don't count as comments. I always spell at least one or two words wrong-I'm a preschool teacher, not an English teacher. Here's some things i've learned:

*Yelling at children is definently not ok. So why do we do it? Well obviously, children want attention and do things to make us lose our temper. So what I'm saying is, blame the children for our lack of patience. Again, I'm kidding. Believe me, when I'm with my preschoolers, its easy to want to say "SHUT UP YOU KIDS" or "YOU'RE MAKING ME REALLY ANGRY AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN BIG TROUBLE IF YOU DON'T STOP THROWING THAT FIT!" or.... "I SWEAR, IF YOU THROW THAT ONE MORE TIME, I'M GONNA----" What? What are you really going to do? When you're in a classroom setting, you can't "DO" anything except have a little chat with the child. But this doesn't just go for children in a classroom. What about your very own children? Not to give anyone here a guilt trip, but DO YOU yell at them? It's all about the use of your words. Try these for example:
-"(Child's name), I would really appreciate it, if you kept the blocks on the floor or safely in your hands. It keeps the others around you safe."
-"(Child's name), would you be a big helper to mommy and help me pick up all these books? We can even sing a song about books while we do it!"
-(for older children who don't want to do their homework)"(child's name), tell me about your homework assignment. I'd really like to know what it is you're learning about and then maybe I can help you with it!"
Yelling CAN be abuse. I hate to go back to that topic, but sometimes if an adult gets to the point of yelling at a child, it leads to things you may regret saying and verbal abuse that the child probably doesn't deserve. "If you're going to be angry, be angry at what they did/are doing, not who they are."(http://www.kidspeace.org/uploadedFiles/24_ways_parent_008_0011_flier%5B1%5D.pdf)

*Explain to children what you expect of them, before punishing them. For instance, the first time your 3-year-old uses crayons to decorate the living room wall, DISCUSS why that's not allowed and what will happen if your child does it again (for instance, your child will have to help clean the wall and will not be able to use the crayons for the rest of the day). If the wall gets decorated again a few days later, issue a reminder that crayons are for paper only and then enforce the consequences. (http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/discipline.html#)

*Time Out. Ok. Here's my deal on time out. I completely feel that putting a child in "time out" is un-useful and doesn't make them act better suddenly. Don't get me wrong, NOT putting them in time out, doesn't mean they will be angels then either. But there are different ways to handle misbehavior. Simply talking to a child. Use words like, "I see that you're hitting your brother. And I also see that you're upset at him about something. What can we do to fix this situation? Use your words to tell me what is happening." Help the child solve the problem his/her self. It's honestly all in the words and questions you use.

These are just a few ideas. Again, I'm not a professional but I have been learning a lot. Take these into consideration as you become a parent, are a parent, or are an educator.
More to come later....until then, here's another quote just for fun!

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

Child Abuse-Not Such A Good Idea After All

*Note to Readers: This blog is clearly for the purpose of opinions, views, and truths about children and how to really truly know what's important in caring for them.*

Disgression is advised for the following stories and examples of abuse-my apologies in advance-I DO have a point!:

Have you seen my kitten?
Brothers, aged 6 and 3, were playing outside when they agreed to help their neighbor search his apartment for the kitten.
Tom was a friend to all of the children in the apartment complex. He was also a registered sex offender, but no one knew. Sammy and Tommy were lured to his apartment with the kitten story, sexually assaulted and tied up. An intense search for the boys by law enforcement and neighbors saved their lives.

Neglect - Feb. 2009 - A mother in Dallas, Texas, was charged with neglect after her nine-year-old died from complications of diabetes after she failed to help her manage her disease.

Physical Abuse - Feb. 2009 - A mother and her live-in boyfriend in Janesville, Wisconsin, were charged with abuse after repeatedly hitting her three-year-old daughter to the point that she required emergency brain surgery.

June 1011-A father abandoned his 4-year-old son along a West Texas highway, and the injured boy spent hours alone in the dark before a passing motorist picked him up, police said. Carlos Rico, 22, stopped his car along a cactus-lined stretch of Interstate 20 near Sweetwater about 3am Tuesday and "threw the boy out of the car like a bag of garbage," a police chief told the Abilene Reporter-News Tuesday.
The boy was picked up about three hours later and taken to a hospital, where doctors removed at least 500 cactus spines from his body. The boy was in the state's custody yesterday. Rico told investigators that God told him to choke the boy and expel him from the car, the chief said. "I've seen a lot of bad things," he added. "I've never seen a 4-year-old angel left on the side of the road for dead. He's such a sweet little boy."

As I research and read stories like this, I feel sick to my stomache and can't help but tear up. There's no better way to describe the way I or others feel about child abuse than the following: "the abuse of a child awakens in us an intensity and breadth of emotion that is beyond adequate expression." (beta-newsroom.lds.org/official-statement/child-abuse)
So why would I blog about something like this? Well, because truly, I am passionate about children and their safety. I absolutely, CANNOT, even imagine what a parent, or any adult for that matter, could possibly be thinking when they abuse a child in any way shape or form. As bad as this sounds, it's even hard for me to make an exception if a parent is schizophrenic or bipolar or something, because child abuse is absolutely NOT OK!
So, turning from the negative side of this, allow me to explain some things I've learned that can predict or help stop child abuse all together.

• Child abuse is something that can be recognized ANYWHERE children are present; grocery stores, classrooms, local park, etc.


• Educate yourselves! At least be able to define each and every kind of child abuse that can happen.


• REPORT IT! Research your state phone number for CPS and report any kind of abuse you see. If something is not right, don't hesitate to make a call. It can be anonymous.

5 children a day, die from child abuse. A report of child abuse is made every 10 seconds. Approximately 80% of children that die from abuse are under the age of 4.......I think you catch my drift.

Let me close this blog with a different point of view. Most or all of you that read this, are probably members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. So let me teach a simple principle from the latter day saint point of view. In Matthew 18:6 it says, "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." If there's anything God does NOT accept with his 'little ones', it is harming them. Those who hurt his little ones, will suffer consequences beyond their imagination. I don't mean to speak "for God", but its seriously true-He, as well as His members of the church, should and don't EVER tollerate child abuse.

I pray that we all keep the spirit with us so that we are in tune enough to be observant in the event that child abuse happens in our presence, whether it's someone we know or not. Pray to know how you can help because (in the words of Dr. Suess), "A person's a person, no matter how small!" I know this is true and I hope we can all realize the importance of keeping everyone of God's children safe.